55. Don’t Make Me Hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.

So, It’s been a while. Thanks to our broadband connection which for the last eight weeks was down for erm.. six WTF weeks. I’s like I’m living in a third world count - Ok. I won’t go there. I am not updated on the internets anymore. The Internet has moved on without me. Don’t get me wrong now, They have an awesome product. Faster downloads (*torrEHEMnts*), faster browsing (*poEHEMrn*)  and the works. Problem? Their after sales customer service bull crap which sucks as much as me playing badminton. Also, I really have to have my cough checked.

Although you’d think people nowadays cannot live without internet. I found some stuff to do to occupy my time. One is actually over using my DVD player by watching (*poEHEMrn*) Excuse me, this cough is irritating. Over using my DVD player causing the something belt inside the DVD player to snap. Maybe because of all the Fast forwards and rewinds that I do. What? I want to re watch some stuff especially while watching documentaries and art films. Ehem. 

Aside from watching too many movies, I also had to watch my diet. If you’ve been reading my lame blog. You’d know that the day I’ve dreaded has arrived. The day when the doctor tells me I have to go to a diet day. What? Anyway, I’ve been on a diet for three weeks already and I am proud to say my weight has dropped from 242lbs(shut up already!) to 225lbs. It’s an amazing 17lbs drop. Yay! I don’t know why but I’ve found myself motivated enough to really pull this off. I haven’t eaten a single grain of rice since June 3 and I’m proud as hell. 

Also I’ve been alternating badminton and a stationary bike as my daily exercise. MWFS, I dry hump the stationary bike for atleast 30 minutes while TTHS I go out with my friends to play some bone breaking, sonic booming, mind numbing game of badminton and I’ve got to say, I’m getting better at it. better and Quicker. Just like sex. Although quicker is not really a good thing during sex. but I digress. 

There is a downside though. Mentally I’m not as sharp as I used to be. (who ever chants Iodized salt will have gonorrhea and herpes at the same time. swear to satan himself.)  I keep forgetting stuff and there are times when I’m as hungry as a fucked up horse that I cannot understand what the person I’m talking to is saying. It has happened and It’s embarrassing.

Fucked up hungry horse

Also when i get hungry, I get cranky. Really cranky. So don’t make me hungry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry. Like the awesome Incredible Hulk which, by the way, I totally loved. Well, not as much as i loved Iron man but yeah. I was naked in the cinema also. Who wouldn’t get turned on by that fight scene anyway? Like Hulk. I also turn green when I get hungry. I turn green (in my mind) to fight off anyone who stands between me and the buffet table. But now things are good. There hasn’t been a single incident of Gluttony and I’ve totally mastered the art of eating veggies, steamed fishes and fruits. Although I know deep inside that I have to be always on guard. One small weakness. One small chance that I don’t have my guard up. I may as well explode on a food binge which will either lead to a heart attack or a terrible deposit in the toilet. Yeah. Try connecting hulk and shitting on a toilet in the same paragraph why don’t you?! 

It has only been three weeks though it has felt like it has been forever. If I want to last until december 2008. I need something to make me strive harder. Not that I feel down or uninspired. I have caffeine and tons of cigarettes to help me through the pain. It would be nice if I can get tips from any of you. Except the fat girl on the left side. You there. Shut up.